"Don't Judge Me"

When someone tries to give you advice, you lash out, "Don't judge me!". When you feel guilty about something, you tell others not to judge you because everyone makes mistakes- which is true, but...

In Islam there is the concept of enjoining good and forbidding evil. If you find a brother or sister struggling or doing something that they shouldn't really be doing, it is your duty as a Muslim to go out of your way and advise him or her in the best way.

On the authority of Abu Sa’eed al-Khudree (ra) who said:I heard the Messenger of Allah (saw) say, “Whoso- ever of you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then [let him change it] with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart — and that is the weakest of faith.”

Now, obviously, it is not our duty to "judge" anyone because this is Allah swt's duty. But advice and judgment are completely different terms. Sound advice should in fact help you get ready for Allah's judgement, which is the most concerning.  We shouldn't look down upon people who point out our flaws and become sad because of it. Rather, we should appreciate the fact that someone cares about our well-being so much so that they feel the need to help us out. 

There is much wisdom behind advice. We need to keep each other on track because we are all humans, and inevitably, we will all make mistakes. We need to help each other in pointing out our mistakes and supporting one another. Otherwise, we would not be able to better ourselves as an ummah. Moreover, we humans are weak, so we need to be there for one another as brothers and sisters.
Our society is one in which people think they can get away with whatever they want without the fear of being held accountable for it. However, Islam, which should be a priority over societal norms, does not preach this.  In the Quran, Allah swt says, "Every soul will taste death. And We test you with evil and with good as trial; and to Us you will be returned." (Quran 21:35) We should keep in mind that judgment day is a reality, and we should fear it much more than we fear others knowing about our sin. 

Now there is a certain way of going about giving advice as well! While it is our duty to enjoin good and forbid evil, some people drive others away from practicing because of their bad manners and harsh words. If you really are interested in the betterment of yourself and others, then you need to take into consideration other people's circumstances, their emotions, and even their personality. Some people are very sensitive, while others might be stronger. You really need to be careful about your demeanor when trying to give naseeha. It is also important to renew your intentions so as not to fall into sin rather than get rewarded for your efforts.

At the end of the day, even if you try your best to advise in the most appropriate and kind manner, some people will hate and oppose you for it. Just remember that your only obligation is to remind, and then Allah swt will do the rest. Allah says in the Quran, "You have no duty except delivering the message." [Quran 42:48] It is not in your position to change the hearts of people; you can only remind. Therefore, you should never feel discouraged, even if you find people ignoring what you say. Remember that for people to change, it usually is a very slow process. Sometimes you might think that you had no influence whatsoever on an individual, when in reality your words may have affected the person so immensely.
In conclusion, as believers, we need to embrace other people's advice as well as not be afraid of giving advice to others.
And Allah swt knows best :) May He make us among those who enjoin good and forbid evil in the best of ways. Ameen.